“You know you’ve found your voice when you feel real, connected, and strong.” – Psychologist Mihaela Ivan Holtz
Ethan Hawke talks about his daughter Maya Hawke, who has starred in movies and TV projects including Little Women and Stranger Things:
An interviewer asks, “How proud of a papa are you?”
Hawke replies, “Embarrassingly so. It’s so wonderful to watch your kid find her own voice, make her own way and excel at something she cares about. I wish that for any parent.”
(“You’re the great-grandnephew of Tennessee Williams, you’re an actor/writer/producer, and Maya’s an actress. Do you think there’s such a thing as a creative gene?”)
Hawke: “Definitely. I think a part of it is what a person’s exposed to, but there are some people that wouldn’t be interested in the arts if you made them roommates with Pablo Picasso.
“It’s just not something that interests them. With my daughter, I’ve known since she was about 4 or 5.
“She expresses herself so clearly.”
Ethan Hawke Talks New Projects, Proud Dad Moments and His Connection to Music, by Walter Scott, Parade, Aug 17, 2018.
Many actors and other artists find themselves disconnected from their authentic creative voice at times, feeling insecure and self-critical.
Like many artists and creative people, Pierce Brosnan has experienced these kinds of self-critical feelings and thoughts.
He has commented:
“I know what it’s like to loathe oneself.
“To feel that deep self-loathing. It’s painful and ugly and f**ing unwanted.
“And it got in the way. I can dip in there, into the old black-Irish melancholy.
“You think ‘Am I smart enough? Am I equipped enough to deal with it all?’
“You don’t want it to happen, but it’s part of life.”
“If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I look in the mirror and see the most vile creature.
“But if I’m feeling comfortable about myself, then I’m more accepting.
“I’m not like, ‘Oh my God! look at that gorgeous person.’
“It’s just like, ‘Yeah, okay. That’s doable.’”
[Quotes are from article Actors and Insecurity.]
Psychologist Mihaela Ivan Holtz works with creative people in TV/Film, performing and fine arts.
She also writes about the emotional and creative pleasures and challenges of their inner lives on her site Creative Minds Psychotherapy.
Here is an excerpt from one of her related articles:
Despite recognition, achievements, and success, some creatives and performers just don’t seem to feel happy or complete in their work.
They feel disconnected with what they create or perform. They’re left in a space of emptiness and loneliness, always in searching for something…
Sometimes they don’t even know what is it that they are looking for. They just know something is missing in a profound way.
A sense of “I don’t feel at home,” “I don’t feel myself,” or “I feel empty and disconnected” follows them around.
This feeling of disconnection and emptiness doesn’t seem to go away. It keeps coming back.
Who are these creatives who are always searching or longing for something they don’t seem to find?
There is the actor who wants to be a writer, the musician who wants to write their own songs, the comedian who wants to experiment with drama…
Do you recognize yourself? Are you the creative or the performer in search of your voice? What it is it that you are really searching for?
This longing isn’t only about wanting to try something new or different, wanting to reinvent yourself, or experimenting with multiple talents.
True creatives have multiple talents…. They continue to evolve and always find new ways of expressing themselves.
To have such fertile creativity is indeed special. These creatives don’t feel disconnected or empty. They actually feel fulfilled, connected, and prolific.
Instead, I am talking about the persistent sense of feeling unhappy, discontented, or unfulfilled with how you manifest your creative or performing energy.
Somehow, that actor, musician, writer just doesn’t feel like you and you constantly feel empty, disconnected, and unmotivated…
Perhaps you even feel depressed, lonely, and flooded with anxieties.
This sense of disconnection, although it becomes most apparent in your creative life, is actually much deeper than your relationship to your art itself.
In truth, it’s bringing to light something deep within you that is unhealed and is keeping you from being YOU.
This is how it feels when you find your voice.
When you find your voice, nothing else matters. No doubts, no insecurities, no fears interfere with that voice.
There is no waiting for the right moment. You don’t need anyone’s permission…
You are that voice, and it feels so normal to be that voice that you don’t even notice how it flows. It just does. You just are…
When it comes out, it is clean, loud, and clear.
There is no question about being confident or right. You just are.
It does not mean that you don’t have fears, insecurities, or doubt. We all do. It just means that they are not interfering with you being YOU.
This is your unique you coming out in your unique way. YOU.
No one is like you and you cannot be anyone else but you.
Acting, writing, singing, dancing …. no matter what you create it is YOU.
Like a shining beam, the core of who you are comes right through your art.
This is why the same song sounds different with each and every singer.
Or why the acting, the writing, or the dancing is never the same … they may tell the same story but the unique voice changes how it’s told in such a profound way.
You’re never more alive than when that art you express or you create is YOU. …
You know you’ve found your voice when you feel real, connected, and strong.
Read more in her article:
The Mystery of Finding Your Creative Voice