Some creative and talented people have difficulties in finding and keeping relationships that are meaningful and satisfying.
Scarlett Johansson has commented about particular challenges for actors:
“I don’t think human beings are monogamous by nature. It’s difficult – you have to put a lot of effort into a relationship.
“I think it’s hard for actors to date each other because they are so damn moody.
“You are away from people constantly and having a relationship that is strictly by phone; it is miserable.
“Or if you say to him/her, Hey, (even though) I am doing a very sexy scene with this very sexy girl/boy, I love you and I’m going to be thinking of you when I am rolling around in bed with this person!”
[imdb.com 23 Dec 2005]
[Photo: with Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in “Match Point”, 2005]
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Many, if not most, actors and other artists are highly sensitive people.
Elaine Aron, PhD is one of the leading writers and researchers on this personality trait of high sensitivity (sensory processing sensitivity) and how it affects us.
She said in an interview about her book The Highly Sensitive Person In Love that people with more sensitive and excitable constitutions and personalities “need help with intimacy.”
She explains why – see my article: Relationships and Highly Sensitive People.
Scarlett Johansson has commented on being highly sensitive:
“I think I was born with a great awareness of my surroundings and an awareness of other people… Sometimes that awareness is good, and sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.”
From article Relationships for highly sensitive people.
Kristin Kreuk has talked about shyness, about being a “self-described introvert” according to some writers, and feeling like an outsider – qualities shared with many other creative people.
(The terms shyness and introversion are probably used by many people to actually refer to high sensitivity.)
She recalls that other girls in high school didn’t like her:
“I am shy and I don’t start relationships with people normally.
I guess I have a way that can seem aloof and sort of cold.
“They didn’t like me that much, but I never resented it. I was different than they were.”
[Interviewer: “Did you ever have a high school boyfriend?”]
Kristin Kreuk : “No one worth mentioning — it just wasn’t something I found. I got a lot done that way!…”
See more of her quotes in post: Relationships and Highly Sensitive People.
Unconscious fears and relationships
Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz helps creative people in TV/Film, performing and fine arts,
She also writes about the emotional and creative pleasures of their inner life – and its challenges – on her site Creative Minds Psychotherapy.
Here is an excerpt from one of her articles on fear:
The fears that we are aware of, we can choose to face them or not.
However, Unconscious Fears are deceiving. They control us without our ability to know and understand their impact on our lives.
Unconscious Fears are seductive. We believe they do not exist, while they keep us stuck in dysfunctional cycles.
We can get stuck in bad or unfulfilling relationships, unsuccessful careers, or live a life that does not feel right.
See more in article
Fears, Unconscious Fears, And Being More Creative